Faith-Based Discernment Counseling

Faith-based discernment counseling is a focused set of conversations designed to help a couple clarify their openness to saving their marriage.  This counseling will help you decide if your next step is pursuing marriage counseling to save your marriage. 

Faith-based discernment counseling is a structured process, but is NOT therapy.  My role is to help you discern which path is best for you moving forward. 

We will call on God's desire and power to help you make the best decision for you and your marriage.  Through the discernment process, we seek to go down one of three paths: 

Path 1: The Stick It Out Path.  Stay married as your marriage has been

Path 2: Move toward separation or divorce

Path 3: The Reconciliation Path.  Choosing to see how God can help you create a healthy marriage through working on reconciling with good help.  A commitment is made to work on your marriage for 6 months and then assess, if your marriage is viable. 

Values in Faith-Based Discernment Counseling

  • God has given humanity the gift of marriage for His glory and our good
  • A healthy, life-long marriage has unique value for individuals, families and communities
  • Life-long commitment is especially difficult in today's throw away culture
  • Marital commitment brings obligations to work on a troubled marriage before giving up
  • Children have an important stake in the health and endurance of their parents' marriage

What I Believe About Divorce

  • Many of today's divorces could be prevented if both spouses took steps to work on their marriage before it is too late
  • Typical marriage counseling available in most communities is not effective enough for many couples on the brink of divorce, especially when they differ on whether to try to save the marriage
  • Divorce is usually an attempt to solve a problem that people think can't be solved in any other way
  • Some divorces are unavoidable...
    • In order to prevent further harm in a destructive relationship
    • Because one spouse decides to divorce despite the wishes of the other spouse
    • Some people behave destructively enough over a long time that they lose their claim on their spouse's commitment

What I Believe About Healing

  • God has the power to restore and rebuild any relationship when both people are willing to follow His plan and pray
  • The key to healing is mutual desire to restore the marriage to health
  • Restoring a marriage must not come at the expense of one of the partners.  Love and fairness must go hand in hand
  • When both spouses devote themselves fully to the work of restoring their marriage, with proper help they can usually make it.